robinnest | Children of Hades

[ it's freezing.

under the covers, mal cannot stop shivering. the blankets are piled thick around her yet the cold stole beneath them, through them until it feels like mal wrapped herself in ice. she sits up, trembling. the room is cold. the fear creeping down her spine sending shudders out to each of her limbs is colder still. ]

What's happening? Nico!

[ there is nothing natural about this cold, and her first concern is her brother. green flames bloom to life across her hand, stretching upwards like satin across her fingers. mal raises her hand, and the pale green light pushes back the shadows. she spots the shape of him still in his bed, a lump beneath his covers. mal shines her light into each corner of the cabin, but it is otherwise empty. her mother looks half-frozen in her aquarium, and mal panics when she remembers reptiles are cold-blooded.

she flinches the moment her bare feet touch the icy floor, but the near painful discomfort is soon forgotten. ]

Mother, hold on. [ tiny licks of flames sweep into maleficent's aquarium like will-o'-the-wisps, hovering in the air around the lizard to warm her. soon maleficent turns her head, but mal cannot celebrate it. she is already past her mother and at her brother's side.

the cold is even more intense beside nico. mal's skin long since erupted in goosebumps and she has to clench her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering. when she touches him, though, she nearly snatches her hand back. he is not cold. his skin feels very, very hot. ]

Nico?

[ a flick of the wrist and the fire leaps off her hand, hovering in the air above them. the cold feels distant to her now, a leaden ache she's only sometimes aware of. adrenaline keeps her warm. fear keeps her heart pounding.

mal drops to her knees beside the bed, the back of her hand finding nico's cheek. she touches something wet. under the pale light, his tears glisten. ]

Nico, hey. [ her voice, though quiet, carries an edge. ] Wake up, Nico. Wake up, come on.

[ she gives his shoulder a shake. her thumb wipes at his tears. ]

Edited 2019-09-09 21:16 (UTC)

[His eyes snap open a second later and immediately find hers, but aside from that he might still seem asleep for all of the understanding that passes through him. He looks at her without seeing and in a second he's yanked himself away from her, crawling backwards until his back hits the wall. The temperature in the room stops dropping at least, though it doesn't rise either. Nico's eyes jump frantically from Mal to the rest of his surroundings, falling on each wall, the door, and even the lizard for seconds at a time. One of his hands reaches to his side and then surprise washes over his features when it comes back with nothing. He looks down to his side for a long moment before finally looking back up at Mal again, the fog finally beginning to clear.]

...Mal? [His voice shakes along with the rest of him and he doesn't move forward yet, keeping himself out of reach, his back still pressed to the wall. He doesn't know if this is real. If Mal is real. If he's back or still dreaming, still stuck in that place. Fear is bright in his wide eyes as he fights for control over his mind.]

Edited 2019-09-09 21:59 (UTC)

[ mal stops herself reaching for him. she straightens instead, her hands held in front of her. ]

Yeah, [ she says. ] I'm here. You were having a nightmare.

[ she calls it a nightmare for lack of another word for it. she has had nightmares. evie sometimes woke her with bad dreams too. but she has never known one like this. nico looks…he looks haunted. ]

[He's silent in response for a long moment, Mal's explanation settling between them. Nico closes his eyes and breathes, his breath hitching as he tries to steady it. After another long moment passes, he moves forward slowly, takes one of her hands in his. It's still shaking and clammy and his fingers close around hers, gripping weakly. His other hand rises to cover his eyes and he shivers as he finally begins to feel the cold. It might feel like relief if it wasn't born from fear.]

Sorry. [It's uttered barely above a whisper. He should have warned her about this. He should have told her before he asked her to stay. (She'll leave you when she sees what you are he remembers and his hand tightens around hers, scared.)]

'm sorry.

It's okay. Hey. Nico, it's okay.

[ mal takes a seat on the bed. a moment later, she wraps her arms around him in a warm embrace. her hand passes over his spine both in comfort and as a means to warm him. a dozen questions are piled on her tongue, but she swallows them again. this is not the time.

nico's fear has proven contagious. mal is scared only she has no idea about what. it is not difficult to piece together that nico plunged the temperature in the room. that does not tell her why. it does not tell her what he was imagining…or maybe remembering.

she's no good at this part. giving comfort. being helpful. evie was always the natural. the most mal can do is pass a hand over nico's back and keep promising him stupid things that aren't in her power to promise like it's over and you're okay. the only truthful thing she says: i'm here, i've got you… ]

[For a terrible moment, the touch is unwelcome, foreign, and wrong. People didn't touch him like this. He didn't let them. Then Nico lets out another breath and remembers that isn't his reality anymore. He remembers he doesn't want that anymore, and the shoulders and back that had tensed loosen under Mal's embrace, his body relaxing and his arms circling her back as he buries his face in her shoulder. The specifics of her affirmations mean less then the fact that they exist, that she is speaking them to him and her voice is warm and compassionate. Unwanted tears soak into the shoulder of her shirt and he squeezes his eyes tighter.

Though it will take several minutes for the temperature to return to normal, the icy fear leaking out of him has finally been stoppered and his shaking has abated to only a slight tremble. The worst has passed. After another couple of minutes, he finally pulls back, his eyes red and downcast and his hands still clinging to hers like a lifeline.

He needs to explain but he doesn't know how, and the sheer magnitude of his not knowing where to start keeps him silent.]

[ mal gives his hands a comforting squeeze before slipping one out of his hold. she snaps her fingers and the ball of flame still above them splits into multiple small lights. most settle around nico, moving as he does so they never come close to burning him. a small handful orbit mal. the heat is not as strong as when they had been concentrated, but this way the air around them warms more evenly.

pulling her long sleeve over her hand, mal uses it to gently wipe at his face. she lets go of her sleeve and it's the back of her fingers resting against his cheek. his face still feels hot, but not like earlier. mal chalks it up to his crying. he will not look at her, and she does not try to force him. ]

You don't have to tell me if you don't want, [ she says quietly. one of the will-o'-the-wisps hovers near her temple. it casts its pale, pale green light across her face, her expression soft with concern. ] But I'm right here, okay? Whatever you need.

Edited 2019-09-10 17:06 (UTC)

[It helps. Her words, the way she wipes his tears, the softness of her voice. It all helps him continue to come down and remember where he is. He isn't alone and it's mind blowing. He's always alone when he wakes from these dreams. Who would be there? (Who would care?) He pushes the second thought away but his conviction isn't as strong as it would have been before the nightmare and the doubt settles just beneath his skin.

In lieu of a proper explanation he shakes his head, offering again, quietly] I'm sorry. [This time he continues with] I should have told you. This happens sometimes. [There's a long pause and then—] Nightmares. From...[Well.] The war with Gaea.

[He hasn't clarified, Gaea and Kronos. He doesn't know if anyone else at camp has. Tomorrow maybe, he'll summarize. It's important for her to know. Every Halfblood should know. Just not the details.]

[ no. no, she has not had that clarified. because the player has not read those books yet so she has no idea how the character would react.

armed with ignorance, mal can only frown. mother of the titans, gaea? that gaea? and maybe she would ask but nico looks so destroyed she cannot fathom making him talk about it. she will ask chiron about it or maybe mr. d could be convinced to be helpful if she also gives him reason to call her a sheltered know-nothing and let him lord it for a while.

sliding closer, she stretches one leg behind him and tucks the other in front of her. it's easy then to wrap her arms around nico again. the lights follow her. the rest of the cabin sinks back into darkness but for maleficent's aquarium and the two of them sitting on nico's bed. mal hugs him close. ]

I don't care about the cold, Nico, [ she says, her head settling on his shoulder. ] I care about you. You don't have to bear this by yourself.

[It's like permission being given because the moment Mal finishes speaking, Nico feels the tears coming again and he buries his face in his hands instinctively, wanting to hide them even though he knows he can't. This is a burden he doesn't know how to share. Not with Reyna or Jason, not with Will, Not even with Hazel and Mal. But none of them had ever asked like this, with Nico sitting in front of them raw and broken and at the mercy of the voices that haunt his nightmares. Right now, he doesn't know how to say no. Even if he doesn't have the words to tell her, he can't hold back the pain and sorrow that pours out of him. After a few seconds, his hands drop from his face and he settles them back around her.

It's a while before the tears stop, a while before the trembling fades completely leaving him sagging tiredly in her arms. He feels strangely solid then, even with grainy eyes and a sore throat. This brand of nightmare always leaves him feeling like a ghost, as if he's physically returned to the sad state he was in at the end off the war, barely present and likely to fade into the smallest shadow. He doesn't feel like that this time.

He feels real. Exhausted, guilty, emotionally spent, but real.

His hands find Mal's and squeeze, and his grip is firm and assuring. (I'm still here too.)]

I didn't mean to...[Nico shrugs and squeezes her hands again, unsure how to find the words for what this was. Unlike before, this time his tone is self-aware rather than ashamed.] The second war was...it was really bad. [The first one wasn't great either but the scars of the second went so much deeper.]

...I'm really glad you weren't part of it.

Edited 2019-09-12 07:00 (UTC)

[ mal smiles slightly before the expression fades. ] I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m kind of like a curse that way.

[ her hand goes to nico’s hair, brushing through the sleep-tousled locks. it had never occurred to her that she may have been relatively safe under the dome. with her mother in control of the isle, mal had it a little easier than most. but they remained wholly dependent on auradon. nothing was produced on the island. nothing grew. their lives were hard ( and their parents did not make the days any easier. ) yet, growing up, mal had not feared her for life. she and her friends had the run of the isle and any danger they encountered they had to find for themselves. it did not come hunting for them.

they even had the freedom to badmouth the powers that be, both good and evil, without fear of being struck by lightning.

mal has known hunger. she knows necessity. she knows neglect. she knows being feared and she knows being hated. she has never known war.

with the insidious bloom of the consequences still lingering underneath nico’s skin, she prays they never have cause to see another. ]

Edited 2019-09-13 00:10 (UTC)

[If there were another war, Nico would do everything in his power to encourage Mal to go back to Auradon and remain out of its reach. If he believed for one moment that she would have gone, he'd have asked her to take Hazel too.

He doesn't have the energy to smile at her self deprecating humor, but he warms to the words, grateful for her. More grateful than he could ever vocalize. He's never felt so safe after a nightmare. Never felt so loved. He can't imagine how anyone would have ever rejected Mal because everything she is is good, strong, and kind. He loves her with all of his heart.]

I'm glad you're here. [He manages, still quiet, voice shaking with a different emotion than before.] I'm glad. [He repeats, eyes shut.]

I wish...I wish I wasn't such a mess. I wish I could be a better brother. [Stronger, unbroken, less weighted down with all of his damage. Mal deserved a better brother.]

But I'm...I'm kind of. Broken.

Hey. [ her tone becomes stern. her hand falls on his shoulder and gives it a little shake to make him look at her. as soon as he does, she points one black-painted fingernail at his face. even so, her voice remains gentle. ]

You found me. You brought me here. You've been helping me through all this and you are the reason I'm still here. You are the best damn brother, and I'm not going to listen to anyone, even you, say otherwise.

[ or talk shit about her little brother and get hit. even if you are said little brother. especially if you are said little brother. ]

[This time he smiles weakly and one of his hands come to rest on top of hers. He doesn't agree but he's glad she said it either way, and he's not about to argue. Not now when he needs the words most.]

You should sleep. It's late.

You should too.

[ mal moves until she's seated on the edge of his bed. she raises her hand, palm up. the little lights still revolving around them are drawn to it like moths. each vanishes one by one into her skin until only one remains, floating lazily between them.

leaning over, mal plucks his pillow where it lay. one spell and all signs of tears vanish. she fluffs the pillow for good measure before putting it back on the bed. ]

I'll stay here until you fall asleep, [ she says, making it sound more like a decision than the offer it is. ]

[Nico lets out a soft snorting sound and shakes his head.]

I'm not going back to sleep. [Despite how softly it's spoken, there's a stoniness to the words. This isn't debatable. It's a wonder that in the last couple of weeks the dark circles under his eyes have been at their faintest in a long time, but perhaps the fact that they are always always there is beginning to make sense.]

[ well. ] I'm not going to sleep while you stare at your canopy all night.

Come on, [ she tries cajoling. ] You need your rest.

[He shakes his head once more.]

I'll end up back there if I try to sleep now. [There's an exhaustion in his voice that suggests he's speaking from experience. He's always too shaken to fight the nightmares off after waking from one. Maybe if he asked Clovis for help, but there was no guarantee he could reach Clovis before the dreams took him and he doesn't feel like walking all the way over to the Hypnos cabin to wake Clovis and ask him for help in the waking world.]

It's okay. I'll rest, just not sleep.

Okay.

[ she holds up her hands in surrender.

she does not get up.

mal sits cross-legged on the bed, looking to the other side of the room where her mother is back to scurrying around her tank. judging the room warm enough, mal opens her hand. the lights flit back to her like the others had, but she does not call them back into her palm. she sets them rotating gently.

and very quietly she starts to sing. ]

[When Mal doesn't leave, Nico relaxes again. He'd been afraid that she would when he made it clear that he wasn't sleeping, but she stays and Nico closes his eyes to listen to her sing. He has the faintest memories of Bianca doing the same, but Mal's voice is different. He likes the differences.

Eventually Nico shuffles closer, close enough to lean his head on her shoulder. He might not have any plans to sleep, but he'd meant it when he told her he would rest and it's made all the easier with his sister's sweet voice, calming his battered heart.]

[ when mal finishes one song, she starts another. her head comes to rest on top of his. she does not speak again, only sings the songs she knows and half-remembers.

back on the isle, music was what they had. no internet. no radio. only two channels on the television and only a few working televisions for an entire island. whether remembered or composed on the spot, music is music and music lifted the dreariness if only for a moment. music is the only thing she can offer. she knows no other way to help.

her brother calls himself a mess, but it's mal who has to guess at what to say, what to do. she can change iron to gold, create a feast with a wave of her finger, make a prince fall in love with her. but she cannot stop the nightmares haunting nico. all her power and all her potential and all she can offer to ease his distress are lullabies she heard others sing. her heart aches for him. he deserves so much better than her, and she is afraid.

she is afraid he will realize it, and pull away from her.

she is afraid he won't, and she will be the cause of more hurt. ]

Edited 2019-09-14 17:57 (UTC)

Children of Hades

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puts a pretty finishing bow on this