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[It's okay Grayson, Damian knows your future self. There is literally no way to preserve any attempt at being cool so nothing of value was lost.
He gives a sharp nod of agreement though he isn't sure what lie they can possibly tell Pennyworth that he won't see through. Grayson is right though, they can figure that out later. Right now, catching up doesn't exactly sound awful.]
It has been some time since I have eaten. Did you have something in mind?
What do you say to a hotdog? [ Ice cream was the obvious choice, but the hotdog vender on the corner is the one he spots first, serving a few older (likely truant) teens. Dick eyes his bored expression, following his eyes down to the relish as he slops it messily onto the waiting girl’s bun. Not likely to make a fuss over two kids out of class, a few blocks away from a school. ]
Come on, I’ll treat you. Then you can tell me all about your problem.
[Damian snorts.] As long as it's not canned, I suppose that's acceptable. [It's a good thing Pennyworth rarely used canned anything because after Haven Damian isn't sure he'd ever be willing to eat anything from a can again. Not that he was exactly big on it before.
Damian follows Dick to the vendor and doesn't reach for the wallet in his pocket. He's lucky that it came with him, but he hardly feels obligated not to allow Grayson to treat. It's not as though either of them can't afford it.]
Perhaps we can head somewhere higher after we have our food. [It'll be way easier to avoid unwanted attention on the rooftops.]
[ Dick says, flashing him a grin as he passes over the money. It's far from the last of his allowance, which has started to accumulate more in the months that he's been home. He's tried a few times, mostly for Bruce's sake, paging through the comics and baseball cards that he'd kept him stocked with long after Dick stopped buying them for himself. But the excitement is gone, just like so much else, and the money, by itself, is empty. There's only one place left where he always knows how to find it. ]
Come on. [ He motions Damian to follow him, cradling the hotdog gently as he makes for a hidden alley. A broken piece of fire escape and a few loose bricks make it doable climb even without a line. ]
[His own hotdog in hand, Damian follows along, curious to see where the teenage Grayson might have spent some of his time away from Bruce. It was one thing to know him in Haven, but to see him at home in Gotham is strange in a completely different way. For the first time, Damian really feels like he is the one out of place.]
Will you get in trouble with Bruce for missing class? [Will Bruce even find out? Damian isn't exactly sure on how this 'school' thing works. Surely Grayson has his ways around the system.]
[ Dick’s hand slips abruptly, a railing crumbling away just as he starts to test it with his weight. ]
It’s, uh- it’s a possibility. [ He recovers his balance like nothing happened, switching hands and then cartwheeling past an overhang and onto the roof. He’s picturing Bruce half a world away, coming in from patrol right about now. A dozen cases on his mind, not one of them shared with Robin. ]
But he’s pretty busy these days. Alfie won’t want to mention it. [ And today that’s a good thing. He glances at Damian, and then he can’t help but break into a grin again. ]
And I figure if anything’s gonna earn me a pass, a time displaced kid Robin of the future is going to be it.
[It occurs to Damian that he doesn't have any idea what Grayson getting in trouble would even look like. Grounded from patrol? Grounded from spending time with his friends? Grayson must have friends from school. He picked up friends everywhere he went after all.
Damian takes his time following Grayson's path, careful of the area where the railing is falling apart.]
Perhaps...we should seek assistance from someone outside of Gotham. I'm not sure how making my presence known to him may affect the timeline. [It's a lie. Or perhaps not a lie, but not the real reason he fears showing himself to Bruce. Grayson may not see it, but Pennyworth will surely pick up on the resemblance he bears to Bruce Wayne. If he mentioned it to Father or if Father himself found out, he'd likely demand a blood test and that would reveal knowledge that no one was ready for yet.
Even if the idea of Father knowing before...the idea that he would come to find him far before his tenth birthday is one that he has to tear from his mind.]
Yeah... been thinking about that. [ It's an excuse to turn his face away, pretending to observe the skyline. He's thought about it too much. ]
...He doesn't remember. I tried-
We tried everything. Every test. He believes me, which... I mean, I guess that's kind of amazing.
[ He knows that it is. That it isn't Bruce's fault, that he's only doing now what he'd promised Dick he'd always do for him.
But he doesn't know. He can't know what it was like there, how it felt to be ripped from home with no warning only to be toppled back with no time lost. What it felt like to starve and then have to come home filthy and emaciated and beaten. A living crime scene for Batman to solve. Grounded for months while the answer never came, fighting his own weakened body's slow recovery, his fears for Damian and Rue. For everyone he would never have willingly left behind.
[Damian drops his gaze and he's glad Dick isn't looking at him because it's a pretty big tell. The truth is it had been shocking enough to figure out on his own in Haven and he had never gotten around to talking to any of the others about his discovery. Now he regrets that. Now, he realizes that was a mistake.]
I...Grayson...[He feels nervously suddenly, remembers how there had been squabbles about what information had been tossed around and what hadn't, with all of them. There's a surge of guilt that wells in his chest. He hadn't meant to keep this from him, but he hadn't figured it out until late in the game and then it had never seemed like the right time. It was too jarring for him to wrap his mind around let alone voice it to anyone else.
But it sure as hell might have saved Dick a lot of trouble from the sounds of it.]
Thomas—Bruce and I—we had a conversation once that, well. It led me to believe that it was possible he wasn't our Bruce. [Beat.] It would explain him not remembering.
[He's not upset yet and that's a good sign. It doesn't make Damian feel any better about never having disclosed the information to him while they'd been in Haven considering Grayson's confusion and probable frustration with Bruce's lack of memories, but it does make some of his tension drop away.]
He mentioned having met Kyle already. Others too, like Gordon. People he shouldn't have met—didn't meet in our universe until he was already wearing the cowl. [So when Damian said 'possibly not their Bruce' what he meant was '100% without a doubt not their Bruce.']
I found out shortly before we left Haven behind and I never found a way to bring it up. [With anyone.]
[ The hotdog is tasting like ash in his mouth now, but he goes right on chewing, swinging his legs mechanically in the open air. It's stupid how much it stings to hear that. Somehow all the moreso for how much he knows Damian doesn't want it it to. The reminder of how little he'd been trusted. Of how much Bruce had preferred Damian, when he'd had any choice.
And how could he ever even blame them for that, when he'd been such a stupid, pathetic, useless child? Unworthy of anyone's trust. Unworthy of the task set before Robin, however desparetely he'd fought to make the cut.
It's how Batman sees him now. He knows it is. ]
Forget it. [ He says it firmly, decisively. ] That's kid stuff.
[ He's a teenager now. Nearly grown. He'll show Bruce that too, as soon as he gets the chance. ]
[If Damian knew Dick's thoughts, he would shake him, yell at him about how it had nothing to do with trust and everything to do with his own shortcomings and his own inability to cope with the information. But he doesn't and all he sees is Grayson's anger and so he assumes what is logical, that the anger is directed at him for his deception.]
You're mad at me. [Said as a matter of fact as Damian lets his eyes fall to the distance. He deserves the anger and still he finds himself suddenly tired of it. Haven was beyond screwed up and he'd done what he could and responded to the best of his ability, and yet somehow he'd still messed up at every turn.]
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no subject
He gives a sharp nod of agreement though he isn't sure what lie they can possibly tell Pennyworth that he won't see through. Grayson is right though, they can figure that out later. Right now, catching up doesn't exactly sound awful.]
It has been some time since I have eaten. Did you have something in mind?
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Come on, I’ll treat you. Then you can tell me all about your problem.
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Damian follows Dick to the vendor and doesn't reach for the wallet in his pocket. He's lucky that it came with him, but he hardly feels obligated not to allow Grayson to treat. It's not as though either of them can't afford it.]
Perhaps we can head somewhere higher after we have our food. [It'll be way easier to avoid unwanted attention on the rooftops.]
no subject
[ Dick says, flashing him a grin as he passes over the money. It's far from the last of his allowance, which has started to accumulate more in the months that he's been home. He's tried a few times, mostly for Bruce's sake, paging through the comics and baseball cards that he'd kept him stocked with long after Dick stopped buying them for himself. But the excitement is gone, just like so much else, and the money, by itself, is empty. There's only one place left where he always knows how to find it. ]
Come on. [ He motions Damian to follow him, cradling the hotdog gently as he makes for a hidden alley. A broken piece of fire escape and a few loose bricks make it doable climb even without a line. ]
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Will you get in trouble with Bruce for missing class? [Will Bruce even find out? Damian isn't exactly sure on how this 'school' thing works. Surely Grayson has his ways around the system.]
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It’s, uh- it’s a possibility. [ He recovers his balance like nothing happened, switching hands and then cartwheeling past an overhang and onto the roof. He’s picturing Bruce half a world away, coming in from patrol right about now. A dozen cases on his mind, not one of them shared with Robin. ]
But he’s pretty busy these days. Alfie won’t want to mention it. [ And today that’s a good thing. He glances at Damian, and then he can’t help but break into a grin again. ]
And I figure if anything’s gonna earn me a pass, a time displaced kid Robin of the future is going to be it.
no subject
Damian takes his time following Grayson's path, careful of the area where the railing is falling apart.]
Perhaps...we should seek assistance from someone outside of Gotham. I'm not sure how making my presence known to him may affect the timeline. [It's a lie. Or perhaps not a lie, but not the real reason he fears showing himself to Bruce. Grayson may not see it, but Pennyworth will surely pick up on the resemblance he bears to Bruce Wayne. If he mentioned it to Father or if Father himself found out, he'd likely demand a blood test and that would reveal knowledge that no one was ready for yet.
Even if the idea of Father knowing before...the idea that he would come to find him far before his tenth birthday is one that he has to tear from his mind.]
no subject
...He doesn't remember. I tried-
We tried everything. Every test. He believes me, which... I mean, I guess that's kind of amazing.
[ He knows that it is. That it isn't Bruce's fault, that he's only doing now what he'd promised Dick he'd always do for him.
But he doesn't know. He can't know what it was like there, how it felt to be ripped from home with no warning only to be toppled back with no time lost. What it felt like to starve and then have to come home filthy and emaciated and beaten. A living crime scene for Batman to solve. Grounded for months while the answer never came, fighting his own weakened body's slow recovery, his fears for Damian and Rue. For everyone he would never have willingly left behind.
His head tips down at last. ]
I remember. But he doesn't.
no subject
I...Grayson...[He feels nervously suddenly, remembers how there had been squabbles about what information had been tossed around and what hadn't, with all of them. There's a surge of guilt that wells in his chest. He hadn't meant to keep this from him, but he hadn't figured it out until late in the game and then it had never seemed like the right time. It was too jarring for him to wrap his mind around let alone voice it to anyone else.
But it sure as hell might have saved Dick a lot of trouble from the sounds of it.]
Thomas—Bruce and I—we had a conversation once that, well. It led me to believe that it was possible he wasn't our Bruce. [Beat.] It would explain him not remembering.
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[ That's enough to tip his head back up. His gaze zeroes in on Damian, blue eyes wide. ]
Well don't keep it to yourself, pal, share with the class.
no subject
He mentioned having met Kyle already. Others too, like Gordon. People he shouldn't have met—didn't meet in our universe until he was already wearing the cowl. [So when Damian said 'possibly not their Bruce' what he meant was '100% without a doubt not their Bruce.']
I found out shortly before we left Haven behind and I never found a way to bring it up. [With anyone.]
no subject
And how could he ever even blame them for that, when he'd been such a stupid, pathetic, useless child? Unworthy of anyone's trust. Unworthy of the task set before Robin, however desparetely he'd fought to make the cut.
It's how Batman sees him now. He knows it is. ]
Forget it. [ He says it firmly, decisively. ] That's kid stuff.
[ He's a teenager now. Nearly grown. He'll show Bruce that too, as soon as he gets the chance. ]
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You're mad at me. [Said as a matter of fact as Damian lets his eyes fall to the distance. He deserves the anger and still he finds himself suddenly tired of it. Haven was beyond screwed up and he'd done what he could and responded to the best of his ability, and yet somehow he'd still messed up at every turn.]
I didn't know what to do.