robinnest | B Movie Meme

B Movie Meme

You and yours are noticing how suspiciously familiar this whole setting is. Surprise! You're in a B-Movie. And guess who's the star? Ding-ding. Well, saddle up, grab a knife, run up the stairs - whatever it takes to survive to the end credits.

1 - "Hail to the King, baby": Welcome to being sucked into an alternate dimension with castles and demons and books that try to eat your face off. But that's okay, you've got a shotgun and a chainsaw, right? This... is your BOOMSTICK. Shop Smart. Shop S-Mart.

2 - "I'm gonna need a bigger can of Raid": Spiders, preying mantises, cockroaches, ants... whatever it is that has more than four legs, it's now supersized and about to attempt to move up the food chain. You gonna take that sitting down?

3 - "But the sign says don't feed the animals!": Mother nature is pissed, and she's got the critters of the land riled up and coming after you. Whether it's snakes in a plane, rats being directed by a scrawny bastard with satchels, or genetically altered bats/sharks/sharktopuses, they all want a piece of the OTHER other white meat.

4 - "I vant to suck your bloooood": Some creepy ass mofo in a cape with bad dental work is giving you the eye. Big eyes. With some kind of unibrow shit going on that needs to be trimmed. Plucking isn't just for woman, buddy. Grab a chair leg, or hell, a pencil, and tell him that no means no.

5 - "Maybe you should have taken a left at Uranus": Yep. You guessed it. Space aliens. Weird little green men with big heads and eyes the size of footballs. What's that in their hand? Is that... is that a probe? Oh god, run. RUN!

6 - "The curse of... that thing with the curse on it": Whether you've come afoul of a witch's curse, or you've taken something from somewhere you shouldn't have, you're cursed. Things are dropping on you, that black cat keeps crossing your path, things break just as you touch them. What else can go wrong?

7 - "Braaaaaaaaains": What's a b-movie meme without the obligatory zombies? Whether it's the Dawn of the Dead shambling ones, or the 28 Days Later running freaks of nature that have magically learned how to do parkour, you've got to deal with them. Grab a cricket-bat and your least favorite record and have at it.

8 - "Input. Does not compute. Error. Error": Robots gone wild, weee! Well, as wild as a robot can get. But when you take into consideration that they're no longer listening to you, and have decided that you're a parasitic virus on the face of the earth, you might have to try to give it the ol' reboot. IF you can reach the button...

9 - "There's something touching my leg": Yeah, we've done evil animals, but this is specifically for the 'wtf are you still doing in the water, you goddamn idiot' scenarios. Be it huge crocs, giant anacondas, flesh eating piranhas, there's something in that murky water that wants to get a little more up close and personal with you. Say hi to Cthulu.

10 - "She blinded me with SCIENCE": You should really be more careful with your components. Your experiment has gone awry, either blending you or someone else with some poor critter you had, or some type of virus that's changing them in ways that are VERY NOT GOOD. Now's not the time to remember you didn't fully lock the restraints...

11 - "DRAGONS!": Because dragons deserve a category of their own. Seriously. Motherfucking DRAGONS, yo. And they think you look mighty tasty. And small. And puny. And helpless. Get the goddamn army to show them just how not helpless you are, or die trying.

12 - "Let's do the timewarp again": Either the tagger or the taggee is from the future or the past, coming with a message. Or just a desire to fuck shit up. Go back and kill Hilter, you say? But... I want to go into the future and fly my car around.

13 - "REET REET REET REET REET": Can we say pyscho? Or Mike Meyers? Or Krueger? Or Jason? However you want to say it, there's a crazy guy with a knife/chainsaw/sickle and you're the only thing on their mind. Can you and your tagging partner evade them? Or is your tagging partner the one after you?

14 - "Devil with the blue dress on": Something wicked this way comes. Its favorite numbers are 666, and it likes to drink blood on a moonlit beach. You've woken it somehow, or it was the prophesized time for them to come and claim what's theirs. Namely, you.

15 - "Tremors": Look. If you know tremors, than I don't have to explain this. Just give me graboids and explosions and extensive games of "The ground is lava."

16 - "Wildcard": Don't see what you feel like playing on here? Make it up and go your own way, compadre.

Relationship ideas:
1 Comrade in arms: You and the tagger are in this together. Until the bitter, bitter, bitter end.
2 Enemies: You're tagging in as the antagonist in this little scenario.
3 Unwillingly dragged into this: You were just walking along, minding your own business, when BAM. Now you're in the middle of this mega-crap.
4 Consulting Expert: You're the expert that they're coming to for answers. You got any? HUH?
5 Wildcard: Come up with your own relationship.

[[From Memebells circa 2012 or something ridiculous like that]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[When Wei Wuxian had said he wanted to travel the world and see all that it had to offer, he really didn't have this in mind. In fact, he'd rather the world take this specific thing that it was offering back and tuck it away into a dark corner where he would never have to deal with it again. Unfortunately for him, the world hated him and even as he finds himself mournfully recalling the beauty of a hidden waterfall shrouded in mist that he'd happened upon in his travels just a few short weeks ago, he is forced to dodge and roll as a spider the size of a small hut jumps from a tall tree and lands in the place where he'd just been standing.

Peace and quiet. Good food and good company. Not being chased by angry mobs of people (or oversized insects.) Was that really so much to ask for?

An undignified shriek to his left has his gaze flickering over there, but Jin Ling remains uninjured and in tact, if slightly more coated in...goo than he had been before. Which, yeah. That shriek is a little more relatable than he wants to admit, but it's fine. It'll be good for him.]

Jin Ling, do you think you can climb one of those trees and see how many are coming this way? I'll cover you. [They've only been fighting these things for a few minutes now but there has been no end to them. and honestly, there's only so much he can do with a flute and a regular sword, especially sine these things apparently aren't at all related to resentful energy. He would be fascinated if he wasn't busy hacking off giant spider legs. His new core isn't strong enough yet to wield Suibian and while normally that's not too much of a problem, he's really beginning to miss it as he takes regular steel to another spider leg and has to fight to get through the cartilage.

Wei Wuxian has decided he needs a vacation from his vacation.]

[ THIS WAS SO GOD DAMN UNLUCKY!!!

What were the odds that he would run into Wei Wu Xian so far into his travels? Sure, he knew that the other was venturing the world on his own, but it wasn't quite like how he imagined. Seriously! What the hell? He was fine on his own and fine minding his own business, and this happens. Wei Wu Xian was a walking bad luck charm and he couldn't agree with that statement in his mind anymore than this.

He was disturbed, disgusted, and completely worn from being slobbered with remains of insects the size of his head, of which came from no where! No one told him this region housed abnormal sized spiders, much less other things that were of this astronomical size. He angrily wipes the filthy goo off his face as he shot the older man a dirty look, almost screaming at him in anger as he replied to that statement, all the while shooting another giant spider into the tree nearby with his bow and arrow. ]

WHY do I have to?!

[ His anger seethed in his bitter words as he almost hissed out the entire sentence. ]

This is all your fault to begin with!!! If you would have just left me alone!

Edited 2020-08-18 12:00 (UTC)

[There are many things Wei Wuxian is to blame for in life, one example being everything that Jin Ling is and is currently choosing to be, or at least almost everything-he is the son of that peacock after all. But among the many wrongs committed and totally justified faults laid at his feet, he does not remember having been responsible for the existence of giant angry spiders. At least, he is pretty sure this is probably not his fault.

He does not, however, yell this at Jin Ling, nor does he sigh exasperatedly and count to ten, mostly because he is busy shoving his blade into the underside of a spider's belly and promptly closing his mouth as all of its internal organs splash down onto his face. (He also, graciously, does not point out that if he had in fact left Jin Ling alone instead of tagging along when he'd run into him then Jin Ling would be facing these things alone and the thought of that makes something inside of him go cold with terror.)

When he has rolled out from beneath the dying beast and wiped as much of its insides off as he can manage, he glances back to his-to Jin Ling, gesturing to three more spiders coming their way that will be upon them shortly.]

If you would like to stay down here with them, I will be happy to switch places with you! [He throws Jin Ling an inquiring smirk, one eyebrow raised as he meaningfully pulls a glob of something from his hair.]

Otherwise, start climbing the damn tree, Jin Ling! [Without waiting for a response, he dives at the nearest approaching spider, sending three exploding talismans at it that manage to sever a few legs.]

[ Jin Ling knows it's not Wei Wu Xian's fault at this point in his life. He's matured as much as he could be given the whole ordeal with Jin Guan Yao. Nothing could beat that. After all, 99% of everything that happened was due to his late uncle orchestrating. Wei Wu Xian seemed to be the victim in most of it. Not that him practicing crooked cultivation was going to go well for him either, but he's not so judging about these days.

At the very least Wei Wu Xian didn't use him as some sort of hostage for his gran plans . Jin Ling was still very much traumatized and sad about the whole ordeal. He really did love Jin Guan Yao and he had hoped that their relationship to some extent wasn't all a fabrication. It wasn't like Jin Guan Yao treated him badly. His death still made him depressed from time to time. Fairy was the only thing he really had that was left.

Still, he is angry right now and it is better to blame someone else in his fit of anger than admit that this was probably a normal occurrence and all of this was a huge coincidence. The whole entire situation is probably better that they are both together, honestly. Jin Ling isn't one to not think that he might have encountered this on his own and that would have been even worse if he doesn't have a second pair of hands to assist. (He's definitely not going to tell Wei Wu Xian that he's relieved the other is here. That's asking to start something he's not ready to accept.)

Instead of refuting him angrily as he previously had, Jin Ling just shoots him yet another dirty look for his comment. He's too easy to read sometimes and it's just that sort of thing that puts him a great disadvantage against someone like Wei Wu Xian who gets away with his word play. ]

Ugh! You're infuriating as usual!!

[ He snaps gritting his teeth. The other is right though. Jin Ling is running out of arrows and he's not in the mood to take them on the way Wei Wu Xian has with a sword. In fact, Sui Hua might be insulted if he used it on these things. Another shot of his arrow and he begrudgingly takes his not fit to be uncle's order. He flips backwards onto a large tree branch and another until he manages to get as high as he can. Though, with all the vegetation he might have to take flight with his sword to see further. He scans the surrounding area, catching glimpses of hairy black bodies treading in their general direction. There are too many to count. ]

...This is crazy! How are we going to stop this many?!

[ He shouts from above. ]

[Wei Wuxian flinches at Jin Ling's assessment, and though he doesn't give a number, the reaction tells him enough.]

Are they all coming from the east? [He shouts back up at him, narrowly dodging a set of fangs as another spider lunges for him and cursing under his breath. As far as they've been able to tell, they had all been approaching from that direction so far, but there was no point in continuing to retreat if they were only going to be running into more of these things. Much as he hates to admit it, he really can't keep this up for much longer. His arms are already heavy and aching and he's stumbled more than a couple of times.

He has to figure out some other way to deal with this. Before he can try to think any more on it though, he catches sight of a horse sized spider making its way up the tree across from Jin Ling, clearly intending to jump across. Shit.

Without stopping to think, he heaves his sword as hard as he can, feeling a small spark of pride when it embeds itself in the spider's head and the creatures immediately collapses back to the floor in a dead heap. His victory however is short lived as he realizes he is now sans sword.]

They're starting to climb your way, watch your back!

[He has time enough to call out the warning as he dodges again, putting just enough space between him and the approaching beasts to whip out chenqing. These creatures, whatever they are, aren't made from resentful energy, and this far out in the forest, there are few spirits to heed his call. Still, with no other option, Wei Wuxian plays. His fingers fly across the flute, the notes calling out to anything that will answer.

A loud squawk sounds from above and he only has enough time to register a shadow overhead before some sort of bird beast dripping with resentful energy swoops in and takes two of the spider beasts into its claws. Wei Wuxian keeps playing.]

[ He lost count at forty and that was really bad in of itself. We Wu Xian probably didn't want to know how many. They weren't going to be able to handle all of them by themselves. He was more than 100% sure of this. He looks in the direction again. It seems accurate. At least, the older man is able gauge that much. It helps them so much. ]

They're coming from the east and some from the west too.

[ He confirmed as he glanced back down. Of course, he really isn't expecting much from this predicament other than being covered in spider guts. He wipes whatever remains of the crap from his face as he uses the leverage of the tallest tree branch to shoot down the spiders that were coming from that general direction. They can't hold on any longer in this situation. They will be eaten by then if they don't make any other smarter moves. He can see that Wei Wu Xian is starting to wear down. He notices the horse size spider too late as it came right at him. Lucky for Jin Ling, Wei Wu Xian literally launches his sword into the thing and it dies in a mad struggle. There isn't any time to really retort to the warning. He's going to have to take control of the situation on his own since the older man is tied up.

Jin Ling clicks his tongue because as much as he hates Wei Wu Xian sometimes, he can't bear to see his supposed uncle get hurt for saving him. At the very least the other has Chenqing and that will maybe hold them at bay just for a bit. No matter how many times, he's seen this in action, it's never stopped surprising him. The younger boy reaches for the last of his arrows and watches as the creatures line up climbing at an alarming rate right at him. He pulls the bow string with his index finger, channeling as much energy as he pulls it as far back as he can. When the spiders came at him, he let loose the bow string and the arrows one by one impales the targets at an alarming accurate rate. Though, with the last of his arrows gone, he's got nothing else to do but rely on his sword.

Since, he can't stay on the tree anymore, he takes this chance to throw himself back on the ground. He lands with a brief thump and makes his way towards Wei Wu Xian. Tucking his bow back, and using his own energy, he forces Sui Hua from its sheathe and the sword spirals through the general vicinity of them, slashing anything within its grasp before coming back into Jin Ling. ]

We need to get out of here! There's no way we can fend them off any longer!

[ Jin finally spirals back into conversation with his not!uncle as he moves to gain less distance between the both of them, his precious sword covered in spider goo. ]

Ugh....

[Jin Ling is right and even as the resentful energy filled bird he'd summoned—a corrupted luan from what he can tell—dives down to take out a handful more of the spiders, he knows it isn't enough. Not that knowing this improves the situation much. The spiders are large enough that outrunning them will be difficult to say the least, and he doesn't even have suibian with him, not that he has enough power to fly on it even if he did.

It's times like these he considers beginning to invest in the study of transportation talismans.

No time to worry about that now. He lowers the flute for a second, long enough to call out to Jin Ling as he begins to make his way over.]

There's a village south, if we head that way and these things give chase, they won't stand a chance! We'll move north!

[As it is, they'll have to hope that they'll lose them eventually, because as much as they need to get away from these things, they can't just keep going and let these spiders follow them back to a village or town. If they couldn't lose them, then maybe he could send Jin Ling off in one direction while he led them in another...

The bird swoops down behind him, easily tearing into a spider that Wei Wuxian hadn't noticed about to jump on his unguarded back, and he refocuses his thoughts, playing harder. He moves as he plays, carving a path until he can reach his discarded sword, pull it free from the spider body, and then begin to move back towards Jin Ling. On the way, he manages to snatch a few of Jin Ling's spent arrows from the prone bodies of their marks, shoving them into his belt to hand off later.

Unable to call anything else to them, he puts chenqing away, letting out high whistles every now and then to keep the luan fighting for them even as he raises his aching arms to begin cutting through the spiders some more.

He's just about reached Jin Ling when he sees something moving at them fast from the corner of his eye and it takes him half a second to register what it is. Right. Spiders. Well shit. Wei Wuxian throws himself forward, shoving Jin Ling to the side as a stream of web catches his arm instead of Jin Ling's back, the sticky white web coating his arm immediately getting tangled and stuck to the nearest tree.]

Oh, come on. [He whines loudly, trying to saw at the stuff with his sword, thankfully his sword arm not the one currently fused to a tree. The web is gross and incredibly sticky but not really a problem in and of itself. The problem is his inability to move and also how many of those things have now noticed that he's easy prey. Yeah, regular steel isn't going to be able to cut through this stuff.]

Hey, can I—[He cuts off with a sharp hiss when something long and sharp pierces deep into his thigh, one of the smaller spiders having gone unnoticed until it was next to him. It takes only a moment for him to slice it in half though the damage is already done.]

Edited 2020-08-20 01:19 (UTC)

[ Even Jin Ling knows it's not enough resentful energy to protect either of them. As strong as Wei Wu Xian's skills are, there's not way of doing much if there isn't a source to feed off. Jin Ling's spiritual energy was strong, but it's not strong enough to go for hours. He isn't his Jiang Cheng or Lan Wang Ji who can probably tear the battle fields to pieces with the amount of energy that they both have. Unfortunately, this uncle isn't as strong as he was in his previous life. (Not that it's any fault of Wei Wu Xian's but Jin Ling's going to maybe blame him quietly for that too.)

Using his spiritual energy, he concentrates on controlling his sword's movement through the lines and lines of spiders that are coming. It doesn't seem to end and the only replaces themselves as they loose numbers. It's as if he's making no progress at all. A stress mark was appearing on his face. Fatigue is just around the corner. Eventually, he will have to stop. They really have to get out of here fast. Sui Hua effortlessly hits its target without avail and returning back to Jin Ling. Having his sword in hand again, he quickly cuts down another one that comes in his direction while making his way towards Wei Wu Xian.

From what he understands, it's better for them to stick it out together than separated. He's not going to let the other use himself as some kind of scapegoat. It also meant that Jin Ling will owe him again for saving his life. He doesn't want that-- being indebted to someone, or accept that this person cares about him to some degree. It's still a weird thing to wrap around, despite understanding the story and everything now. In some ways, Wei Wu Xian is pitiful. The flute user has always been talented. That he never failed to admit inwardly. He can see that the large bird are doing pretty well. If anything, an opening of any kind of will suffice so they can keep moving towards the direction in which the other mentioned moments before.

He swings his sword down on another, and another. It was endless. Each time Sui Hua touched their flesh, it teared it to pieces. Beads and beads of sweat roll down his face. His breathing is becoming a little haggard. ]

Then what are you waiting for let's--- !!!????

[ Jin Ling catches sight of it too late as it seems to be coming right for him, except when he closed his eyes, nothing made impact of the spider. Instead of that, he feels himself being shoved and is lands ungracefully onto the dirt ground to the side of the creature and he looks up in utter surprise Wei Wu Xian?! ]

Edited (\) 2020-08-20 01:51 (UTC)

[ Too late, Jin Ling is safe, and Wei Wu Xian is not. He watches the string of webs capture the other in surprise and it doesn't look like he is going to able to get out of this unscathed. How can he still be talking like this?! Jin Ling is incredulously upset-- and that in itself is an understatement. ]

!!!!!

[ He wants to yell at him but he swallows it when he sees the spider dig itself into Wei Wu Xian's thigh. He freezes up in shock. By the time he recollects himself, the thing was nothing but a crumpled corpse by their feet. He stumbles over to grab a hold of Wei Wu Xian. ]

Why did you do that?! I could have taken it on!

[ ---Probably not, but he's going to say it anyway. Maybe there's some kind of concern coming off from his tone. ]

[Wei Wuxian bats Jin Ling's hand away, keeping his voice soft and calm in contrast to the boy's rising panic.]

It was too fast, now stop worrying and help me cut this away.

[He gestures at the web still holding one arm captive, shifting with a slight pained cringe so that he's slightly in front of Jin Ling. His thigh is throbbing and the fangs have gone deep enough it'll definitely get infected without medicine, but that's not any kind of immediate concern. Several more begin approaching and Wei Wuxian gives a sharp whistle, calling the luan over. It's talons claw two of them in half, and it scarfs another one down, squirming legs dangling from its beak.

Wei Wuxian's gaze flickers to Jin Ling and the boy's expression is an open book of concern that fills Wei Wuxian with a deep rushing fondness. He is so much like Jiang Cheng sometimes, but somehow even worse at pretending not to care.]

Hey. It's just a small bite, I'll be fine.

Who even asked you..to........

[ He muttered under his breath as he withdrew his hand that was pushed away. Regardless, he got that he needed to cut him out of this first. Sui Hua's sharp edge digs into the webs quickly cleaning slicing off the sticky webs. Once they were all cut from Wei Wu Xian, he shakes the blade to get rid of the excess. He'd probably have to find a place to clean it up again. ]

Fine? Can you even call that fine.

[ He gestures to the wound at the same time his voice goes up a few octaves. Of course he also doesn't like that Wei Wu Xian is giving him a weird look for it...Ugh, why did he even react? Can he even walk? Not that this entire situation is going get any better. Once he frees the older man, he's looking around for an opening while decking a ton more of the spiders in a fit of irritation.

The irritations sparks him to whistle for his spirit companion. Wei Wu Xian is going to have to deal with Fairy because they need as much back up as they can to get the heck out of here without losing limbs. Fairy is perfect for clearing a path for them if Wei Wu Xian can run. If not he'll have to go with the second option. ]

Edited 2020-08-20 06:38 (UTC)

it's okay, now WWX is the one suffering

singlelogbridge - 2020-08-20 07:06 (UTC) - Expand

XD Well fair trade I guess? haahah!!! Also FLYING is fun~ hang on tight

to_rise_above - 2020-08-20 07:28 (UTC) - Expand

LOL

singlelogbridge - 2020-08-20 07:49 (UTC) - Expand

Don't be unreasonable okay? :|

to_rise_above - 2020-08-20 08:08 (UTC) - Expand

He would never

singlelogbridge - 2020-08-20 08:26 (UTC) - Expand

Right.

to_rise_above - 2020-08-20 08:54 (UTC) - Expand

[For Jin Ling] 2

BRB Jin Ling is screeching inside my head rn XD

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1/2 I hope you're happy. :|

2/2 =__=

extremely :D

uuughhh!!! SMH.

[Husband] 7

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[Wei Wu Xian - 9 ] I want to say I am sorry ... but ah.

never be sorry

Sorry but not sorry? XD

LOL

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gimme my nephew (4 + 13)